F you spondylitis
I’ve recently had a revelation, by recently I mean in the last 5 minutes. I will apologize right now to anyone reading this who will be offended because this will include profanity this is due to how my strange mind works.
Being a visual artist and having a disease that disables you is really really fucking hard, I have never admitted this to anyone nor have I ever used it as an excuse. Over the past couple of years I have noticed the disease making it’s way higher in my spine and down into my arms and hands. I used to be able to draw and paint all day recently I’ve gotten to the point where it is painful to do those activities for 20 minutes without taking a break to allow the pain to go away. This probably all sounds like a bunch of whining at this point it’s not most people are more worried about my high tolerance for pain than anything else I do.
Anyway on to the revelation that I had tonight mostly due to reading something a friend told me years ago in the sarcastic sense that only friends can share during a music festival. I’m not going to repeat it or even say who it was on here because it’s not important to anyone except me. So tonight I’m saying fuck you to this disease and the pain it brings. I relearned to walk, so reteaching myself how to draw and paint thru pain and any other shit the world throws at me should be easy right? Who knows maybe I’ll even get lucky the next time I get a crack in my spine and it will do some nerve damage to the ones controlling pain in my hands, actually that would be awesome just imagine the party tricks.
So in conclusion and to cure all concern (mostly because my mom reads my blog) I am perfectly sane or at least only as crazy as I’ve always been. I am simply saying fuck this disease for trying to ruin my life and making me relearn almost everything. Gød willing you all will see new paintings and drawings soon. Follow your dreams, don’t give in to any doubt or pain, I promise you this everything will be fine in it’s time.
